


Communication is key

by orphan_account



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/M, a product of frustration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:39:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5285822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The whole wedding debacle could have been avoided if only this conversation had taken place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Communication is key

**Author's Note:**

> I never in a million years imagined that I would post a fanfiction about Lawrence and Bernice from Emmerdale of all things to write about. But I was so frustrated by the way the whole no-sex thing was handled that I had to write something. This takes place a few days before the wedding. I also don't really like Bernice as a character and I tried to make that come through in her narration, but I don't know if I succeeded.

 

“Why is it really that you want separate bedrooms, Lawrence?” Bernice asked in the hallway as they happened to exit their bedrooms at the same time.

“Well- Um- Well,” Lawrence stammered uncharacteristically.

“Did you really think I wasn’t going to ask?” She said.

“We better talk in peace,” he replied, ushering her into his bedroom and closing the door softly. “You’re right. It’s only fair that I tell you the whole truth.”

She nodded, secretly relieved that this mystery was going to be solved so that she could adjust her view of her fiancé accordingly. They sat down on the bed.

“I haven’t had sex for many years. The last time with my wife was just after we found out she was pregnant for the final time."

“Oh?” Was Bernice’s only response.

“After that it was once with a man, a good friend, a few years after she had died. And nothing in between, or since.” he said, bowing his head as if in shame.

She wanted to comfort him, but didn’t know how. Before she managed to say something he continued.

“I didn’t… enjoy it very often. Or at all, really, to be completely honest. I told you what happened to me in prison.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve never really managed to shake it. Intimacy in that way never came without its flashbacks and… panic attacks,” he admitted, looking for all the world more like a scared little boy than the confident, willful man she had come to love. “I mean,” Lawrence kept talking, as though a dam had burst and it was all flowing out. “I managed, with my wife, partly because we wanted to have children and partly because I was still hoping that one day I would be able to do it without- without any trauma. Once we decided not to have any more kids, she didn’t want to put me through the,” he sneered at his own words, “the discomfort."

Bernice really didn’t like the self-loathing she could see in his eyes. She wanted to do anything she could to stop it, but in the end, all she could do was put her arms around him. “Lawrence, I am so sorry,” she tried. “There’s nothing wrong with you."

He embraced her with slightly shaky arms. “Thank you,” he murmured against her hair, and she could tell that he was trying his best to hold himself together.

“Thank you for being honest with me,” she said gently, and the room was quiet, save for their shaky, deep breaths as they both were overcome by the honesty of the conversation.

Bernice understood now. And she would deal with it the best she could. It didn’t bother her, or frighten her, that this lovely, amazing man was also a little broken. What mattered was how much they loved each other. The rest she couldn’t care less about, she decided. What they had would be enough for them both.


End file.
